Why is it so

I missed a lot of things.
I miss a lot of people.
But I am weak.
I am not capable of doing anything great.
Forgive me.
I said a lot, like, I miss you. Hugs. xoxo. Keep in touch. Keep you in heart.
I meant it. But do they believe?

I keep on remembering things these days.
Frustration.
They say it is not good for your health if you stay very late at night. So I tried to sleep earlier.
I prepare to go onto bed at 10. Blink. Blink. My mind is still working.
I read some books. Finally.
and then "BANG". This shitty roommate of mine went to toilet.
Again "BANG". She went outside to wash something.
Please! For whoever's sake, can't you be more gentle??!!
Great. Now I can't fall back to my sleep anymore.
Insomnia.

What time is it now? I looked for my phone.
What the.....
It has only been 3 hours since I fell sleep.

Why is it so bright out there? In my room?
I want it to be dark. Very dark.
That kind of darkness which I can't even see my own fingers.
Like I am blind.
Why is it so loud? I heard the noise of the washing machine.
Wash. Rinse. Spin.
Is anyone washing clothes in the middle of night?
I want it to be quite. Silence.
Like I am deaf. Not even the sound of the fan spinning.

Am I being psychotic.
I heard the noise of washing machine again.